The story of the Fox

''I love foxes and I think I am like one.'' This thought arose when I was little, so we begin the story:  

My teacher was calling my mom because of a fight I had with my bestfriend at that time. It was a kid's quarrel over stupid stuff, not even worth remembering, but it caused a rupture between me and my friend that everyone witnessed. So, I had to explain it to everyone. Why over night I went from the most angelic kid in class to a devil who fought his classmate.  

Well, the simplest answer would be I was fed up and angry. I wanted to step up. But my means to accomplish that were terrible. I remember insulting my friend over a joke and escalating the subject for no reasons other than my apparent loneliness. I didn't feel like I fitted in. I only talked to ''the misfits'' of my class, people that actually had personality. They were only 2 and sometimes I doubted if we were even on the same wavelength. As much as I tried to talk with the others, it never clicked and I was feeling more and more dreadful. Like a feeling of : ''Something is wrong with me and nobody is telling me that''

 

From this, I got sad and isolated myself even from my friends in a corner, trying to figure out what is wrong. Then, I got angry with everyone, and that little joke about me, felt like the most spiteful childish insult. Like a beast I started with lowering my voice, pouring out the most sarcastic remarks, with spiteful laughs in the face of my enemy crumbling to emotions. At the peak of the fiery remarks, a shy push was all I needed to go on the attack and lunge myself forward in the hair of my friend. All stopped, when the teacher came and witnessed everything. But only for a time, because during the lecture the spiteful war was still going out strong. The two of us shared the same desk, that's how close we were. 

 

From this moment on, I knew in my heart it was my fault, but what could I do to deescalate this? Well, lie! Tell everyone that nothing happened we were just playing, even tho obviously we weren't. The easiest way to calm humans is to give them a story that doesn't disturb them and resolves itself in the simplest way possible. The more you make them relate the better. That's how I dealt with my mom: '' Oh, it's nothing mom, we just played around over a shiny pen, I gotta do that homework now. See you!'' 

 

The teacher told her we fought. I replied : ''Oh yeah, over a pen I wanted to try, in the end I gave it back and apologized , nothing happened'' At home I succeeded so I continued. Next week I acted normally with everyone, even around my friend. I was calm and composed to every glance, in every reply, to every excuse I could manage to invent about the why I did it. 

 

At the end of that week everything was normal. I even went to my friend and properly apologized, so I was forgiven. Then this teacher that witnessed everything. Come straight to me, she knows everything I thought to myself. ''Surely, she saw through my facade.'' I was prepared to be scolded and humiliated, my worst fear that I was avoiding doing all of this. I was paralyzed. But then, all that I hear was: ''You really are such a fox, Alex.'' 

 

I grinned and it stuck with me. Ha! If I could pull this off, I surely am a fox, that's why I don't fit in. Silly me, but It worked no one found my true intent and I fixed this social problem without facing my worst fear of being publicly mocked.  I should have only known that this was a blessing and a curse.

 

PS. This is a story and should not be taken seriously. Enjoy! 

About me

    It's a pleasure to meet you. As you probably guessed by now, my name is Alex and I am the creator of this blog. 

    As of currently, I am a medical student with 3 more years to go till I get my degree. I plan to become a psychiatrist, cuz I love how the brain works and I want to understand how humans work.

    Aside from that, I plan to explore the world around me. I am fascinated by plants and animals, so I draw them. I love to solve problems, so I study philosophy and science. And I love the game of life and society, therefore I want to make as much money as I can.

     Lastly, I want to live and enjoy this life, and what better way to do that, then by living the healthies cozy life and traveling around.

      As you can see, I have a purpose. A direction I want to follow, but this doesn't define me. Life is unexpected and I am curious. If life is a forest, my direction would be a road. If I would see a gorgeous butterfly, I might just go along and chase it. Maybe it will lead me astray, or maybe it will give me a better way. 

      I want to have my eyes open and see any door or posibility I have. There is no one way to get somewhere. Keep that in mind and I would say everything is possible, whithin the limits of reality of course.

      Looking around my blog, you will probably find more about me. Also, if you are interested in my artwork you can find me on my instagram: @vulpiart. If you just want to contact me and talk leave a message for me somewhere and I will probably see it.

Hello! This is my first post.

    I am happy to begin this new adventure. I can't wait to share my ideas and have them here, where people can reach them. Truly, this is a comforting feeling of belonging, I could say.

    Well. let's get to specifics. What am I planning to share here?

    My ideas and my rationality, what I learn, what I do and what I find on the internet.

    What I learn would principally be medicine and science. With some side interests on: philosophy, economics, gardening, diy, minerals and games.

    What I do go to university, dream big, paint and try to live the healthiest life I can while building strong muscles !  

(Oh maybe I should add something about myself so you will know me better, but I know myself so I will do that in another post haha)

    What I find on the internet. Oh, I consider myself a very handy person. I believe there is nothing I will not be able to find on the internet and get it for free (btw I'm poor xd). Also, I am somehow strangly attracted to rabbit holes and niches. Some of the "pearls" I found and I want to share are: dark cabaret music and electro swing. 

    I will describe lastly my ideas and mind, because it is the most important subject for me, but also the least polished. Therefore, I would tell you what I do when I reread my ideas( As an example: How would the perfect being be?). I would be thinking first from what it steamed form: an emotion or a thought? Cuz that would determine if I judge it or if I understand it and relate to it. If I judge it, I analyses the arguments and try to play the devils advocate. If I understand the feeling, I relive the moment and ask why? how did this emotion arise? and see my way to deal with it. You see it is like appreciating a diamond. It has many facets and all should be respected. (I cant wait to add my thoughts on humans)(Also this : how to view an idea topic should be explored further, maybe it will be the next post on the subject).

         Lastly, addressing whomever find this. I am delighted to have you here. I hope you will find whatever you desire and have a nice journey with me.

This is a raw sketch. I will come back after posting it and rewrite some of the parts probably. Also, I am a messy writer so if I write for myself it will sound like this post, if I write for you I will polish it further and have you my dear viewer in mind. (I would love to dig deeper into this topic also)